5 Ways to Manage Your Own Expectations as a New Mother
Do you find it hard to manage your own unrealistic expectations as a Mother, as you strive for perfection and being “the good mum”?
Rest assured, you’re not alone. In fact, most of us are navigating the same challenges. Never before in history have more women been expected to juggle so much- providing impeccable care for their children, dealing with the lion’s share of household duties, running businesses and presenting ourselves as flawless, with such limited support.
Picture this. You haven’t washed your hair in three days. Your baby is still in their pyjamas at 12pm. There are piles of unwashed clothes taking over the laundry, with a wet load still sitting in the washing machine since yesterday. You still haven’t replied to those three people who texted you this week, put your expensive gym membership on pause, returned those pants that don’t fit right within 30 days since purchase, oh and you’re trying not to forget to book in your baby’s first immunisations. You constantly feel like your
Yes. Anyone would be overwhelmed with a load like that on their plate, all whilst navigating their new bodies and hormones postpartum. It’s time to show yourself a little more grace, Mama. It’s time we lower the bar and set realistic expectations.
In light of that, here are five practical and easy-to-incorporate tips for managing your own unrealistic expectations.
1. Set Realistic Goals
Understand that it’s okay if not everything goes as planned. This can be particularly hard for high achievers or people who love plans and goals. Try to approach your new role with a sense or desire to explore being flexible and up for last minute changes.
2. Avoid Comparison and Be Realistic
Every mother and every baby is different. Avoid comparing yourself to others. I would like to place emphasis on the fact that every baby is different. Your baby might not respond to being settled the same way as the baby in your mother’s group or what the internet says your baby should be doing.
3. Celebrate Small Wins
Every small victory is worth celebrating. When celebrating your baby’s milestones, put the mirror up. Celebrate each new step and how you have grown as a parent too.
4. Accept Imperfection
It’s okay to make mistakes or feel like things aren’t exactly as they “should” be. Perfection is unattainable, and striving for it can lead to burnout. Your standards should be realistic, reflecting the understanding that motherhood is a learning process filled with ups and downs. Embrace the imperfections and learn from them. They make you a stronger, more resilient mother. Here is a quote I love: “Strong women aren’t born. They are made by the storms they walk through”.
5. Seek Support
Talk to other mums and professionals to set realistic expectations. Whether it’s talking to a trusted friend, or seeking advice from a professional, checking into Borne for a break, having a support network can provide reassurance and practical advice. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. Sharing experiences and hearing others' stories can normalise your feelings and help you feel more connected.
You’re doing great, just take it one gracious step at a time!
Love,
Founder, Borne
